The E3 Soup - What Will Joel McHale Say?

John’s at E3 right now. I’m not. He promised to text me when anything exciting happens, but we all know that’s not going to happen. No, instead I get to sit here at my desk working on other things and imagining what kind of wacky shenanigans are going down in LA.

To make matters worse, Ubisoft announced last week that comedian Joel McHale of E!’s The Soup fame would be hosting their E3 press conference. My mind has been atwitter with anticipation ever since. What celebrities will be unfairly mocked in association with what games? The only problem is we still don’t know much about what Ubisoft will be showing this year. Assassin’s Creed 2, for sure. Rabbids Go Home, definitely. Red Steel 2, most likely. No More Heroes 2, possibly? Um… Petz? Shaun White World Tour? Ah, damn you Ubisoft for giving me so little fodder for Soup-style celebrity ridicule.

As long as I’m imagining it all anyway, let’s pretend McHale is hosting EA’s press conference, okay? Much better. Here’s what I think the Soup star would have to say about some of EA’s big properties, given the opportunity: Continue reading »

Long Farewells Ne’er Were Necessary…

Freelance writing is a fickle means of making coin: you’re often better off climbing trees boxing squirrels for their nut hordes. “You ain’t gonna be workin’ heah no mo’” is the phrase I hear most often as a writer-for-hire. “We totally mailed you that cheque” is the second.

So, I’ve learned to roll with bad news. I heave to my swollen feet, put on my hat, gather my tattered overcoat around me, and shuffle off into the snowy night to find someone else to fill my tin plate with bread and baked beans. No regrets, no hard feelings. The fact that I know an ancient curse that afflicts editors’ virgin daughters with pig lice is entirely coincidental.

But in all honesty—and I am being honest—the news about 61 FPS’ shutdown hit me hard, and I’m still feeling pangs of sadness. I’m very fond of the team: Constantine is an A-1 editor who has never failed to provide support, suggestions and manly advice.

What happens next? You’ll see me skulking around the Internet, singing for my supper. Mackey and I both contribute to 1UP’s features section and the Retronauts blog, and I imagine that will continue to be so.

I’m also thinking of pulling back a little and letting more variety into my life through animal writing. I wrote a lot of pet-related columns in the past, and I enjoyed it. See, I totally have mastery over animals, as is evident through the tortoiseshell cat on my lap who is ignoring every order to get down.

Constantine already lay down threats of 61 FPS sticking around in some capacity. Take that to bed with you, and sweet dreams. For now, I won’t say goodbye. Let’s just say:

Thank you for playing! !

Goodbye, From All of Me to All of You

By now, you’ve probably all heard the news that 61FPS is no more. If not, I’m sorry you had to hear it from me–I’m no good with these kinds of things. But for now, we have to move on and face facts: this blog is yet another Internet casualty.

When I first started writing for 61FPS back in August of 2008, I had no idea how I was going to post twice a day and manage to keep up with the rest of my writing/schooling/living duties. Then I discovered the solution to this problem: rip off news relentlessly from Kotaku. Of course, I kid–I did most of my ripping off from Joystiq. But, given the small audience and limited powers of 61FPS, we were never about up-to-the-minute news, hard-hitting exclusives, or the black, soul-destroying magic that somehow makes websites profitable. 61FPS was just a bunch of crazy kids who really loved video games, and I’m sincerely going to miss being a part of it.

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Our Time Together Was Too Short

It was around the middle of last month that we writers were notified that the blog’s days were numbered. For me this was quite a blow since this was my first professional blog writing gig. I remember last year when I was invited aboard. It was a real thrill. It was tough sometimes, putting together enough material to have regular posts since my day job can demand long hours. I didn’t always write as much as I wanted to, but I loved every minute of my time here and enjoyed the contributions of my fellow bloggers. My favorite part, though, was reading comments left by all of you, the readership. However, before I say my final farewell to 61 FPS, I have some unfinished business.

Last month, I asked for your votes to determine what game my next retrospective would cover. Voting took place both in the comments section of that post and at the N-Sider message boards. I have tallied the votes counting only first choices (though I did count multiple picks if a first choice was not indicated). It was a close run between Yoshi, Star Fox, and Metroid, but 2-D Metroid came out on top by one vote. When my second retrospective is finished I plan to post it at both the N-Sider message boards and the NeoGAF message boards, both of which were the original homes of my Metroid Prime Trilogy retrospective.

Finally, I have one post yet to go up here at 61 FPS, my rather delayed Rune Factory Frontier review. I’m determined to finish this thing for this blog. Please expect it this weekend.

Thank you everyone, readers and staffers alike. I had a fantastic time writing for all of you.

Goodnight and Good Luck from 61 Frames Per Second

Three-hundred eighty-five days ago, 61 Frames Per Second launched with the mission of providing readers with, as I put it then, discussion about the design, art, history, and message of the games we play alongside our own unique brand of criticism. The blog was intended to not only be smart, funny, and informative, but to demand more of the videogame medium and the dialogue surrounding their creation and cultural significance. So far, thanks to the work of 61FPS’ contributors, it’s been just that.

As of June 1st, regular posting will cease on 61FPS. Our parent magazine Nerve is relaunching next week for the first time in ten years. Nerve began as a magazine about love, sex, and culture and that editorial mandate is staying the same, but it’s becoming a more focused publication. As such, entertainment and cultural coverage is being shifted away from Nerve’s blogs like 61FPS, The Remote Island, and Screengrab, and reintegrated into the site. The blog archives will remain live online.

This isn’t the end of 61 Frames Per Second though. Most importantly, our readers will still be able to follow the work of Bob Mackey and Nadia Oxford in GameSpite, 1UP.com, and What They Play amongst others. Cole Stryker, our resident curmudgeon and games journalism police force, isn’t writing about games at the moment, but there’s no way he’ll be able to stay away for long. Joe Keiser has had a prolific career as a games journalist and you can bet your life that you’ll see his work well into the future. 61FPS has been Amber Ahlborn’s first job as a professional writer and she has been a remarkable success. I expect great things from her. As for me and Derrick Sanskrit, stay tuned. Don’t delete your RSS feed just yet. You haven’t heard the last from us, dear reader.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for writing. Thank you for listening.

See you soon.

-John

New Mega Man 2.5D Trailer: This Thing Better Be Real

A few months ago, graphic designer Peter Sjöstrand uploaded a creation to YouTube that threw the familiar world of Mega Man into a crazy, plane-switching, 2.5D experiment. Gamers gasped, gaped, and drooled, but this little project was nothing more than a non-interactive animation, and a tantalizing look at what some elite programming skills could bring to the world of The Blue Bomber.

Yesterday, Sjöstrand made it clear that he’s not done torturing the Mega Man fanbase by releasing yet another 2.5D video that’s much cooler than his first one; this update sees Mega Man fighting Dr. Wily’s massive dragon (from Mega Man 2), and teaming up with Proto Man for some co-op fun–all in glorious 2.5D.

If you don’t watch the video after the cut, you are a horrible monster.

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Licensing Tragedies: The Brazilian Mega Man Comic

The other day, I looked at Dreamwave’s halfhearted attempt to bring a Mega Man comic to a deserving world. Though the comic was indeed impotent, it wasn’t necessarily bad; it simply filled up shelf space and delivered an all-inclusive story that was never in danger of engaging or exciting anyone.

But that wasn’t Mega Man’s only foray into a non-Japanese comic. Brazil published a Mega Man comic as well. The Brazilian Mega Man comic was, as the kids say, batshit insane.

I’ve never met any of the staff at Capcom’s licensing department, but I have a mental picture of how this particular proposal went down. Some key member was sprawled on the couch like Homer Simpson, heavy-lidded in front of the television, gut dusted with chip crumbs. A hopeful Brazilian artist timidly approached the bloated figure and asked, “Capcom, can I–” and Capcom dismissively mumbled “Yeah, yeah.”

It’s likely Capcom still scrambles to hide ”That comic” from Keiji Inafune—unless someone on staff thought up a good defence for Roll’s origin in the comic, which involved a child sex slave ring.

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Here Comes the Sun: The Three Es

I’m getting on a plane at 7:30am on Sunday morning and flying to Los Angeles for the first time in my life. To be honest, I’m a little nervous. I used to travel quite a bit when I was younger but haven’t in some time. Life in New York tends to work in one of two ways. Either you’re a jet setter, one of those people that have some kind of crazy glamorous job that sends them all over the world for business and pleasure or you’re city bound. Make no mistake, it’s hard to get out of this place even just for a day. My favorite joke is that even if you walk over one of the bridges or through the tunnels, there’s going to be some gruff civil servant demanding two dollars to cross the border beyond the city limits. It gets comfortable though. Sometimes the city is a big enough world on its own. I don’t know what to expect from LA other than for it to be hot as hell, for the food to be expensive, and for the people to be a whole lot blonder.

Then there’s E3.

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Yahtzee Reminds Us To Always Bet On Duke - There’s A Dice Joke In Here Somewhere

Remember Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw? His brand of monotone sarcastic animated game reviews dripping with visual puns and wit were all the rage on the internet over a year ago. Yahtzee has of course begun to suffer the fate of all internet celebrities in that people stopped being so charmed by his ire, and regardless of whether the blame lies with the audience for growing bored or with Yahtzee for growing boring, people have stopped watching. It’s a bit of a shame, too, because this week’s review would be deemed “classic” if the world of internet video reviews permitted such a term.

A remarkable change of pace, Yahtzee chose this week to review Duke Nukem Forever, a game which he loved sincerely and sings the praises of its designers for waitaminute… Duke Nukem Forever? Continue reading »

Licensing Tragedies: The Mega Man Comic

I don’t know if I can properly call Dreamwave’s Mega Man comic a “Licensing Tragedy.” It’s more like a licensing misfire accompanied by wasted potential. Either way, its mediocrity made my soul sad.

The Mega Man comic had four issues published through 2003 and 2004. It was illustrated by Mic Fong for its first three issues before duties were passed on to Patrick Spaziante (“Spaz,” who has illustrated the covers for the Sonic the Hedgehog comic series for many years). The art was passable, though Mic Fong’s character designs rarely ventured far beyond Anime Cliches 101 (when humans blush, the blood doesn’t elevate above their skin. It just doesn’t). The comic’s writing, however, was a flat tire. Brian Augustyn was the series’ chosen scribe. Augustyn’s work can still be found in non-offensive Ninja Turtle storybooks sold at supermarket check-outs. Now you have a good idea of the safe, oatmeal-flavoured plot that was dished up for gaming’s favourite robot.

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