WTFriday: Christian Bale Wants You To Eat Pac-Man Cereal
I’m sure Christian Bale is thrilled that his screamy Terminator Salvation video has fallen out of vogue in favour of a new video: footage from a Pac-Man cereal jingle, one of his earliest commercials.
The user who uploaded the video wrote, “You can obviously tell which kid is Bale.” Hint: there are also two girls and a black boy. Try to pick out Bale. It’s tricky!
I have to admit something to the world. I loved the Pac-Man cereal. In the ’80s, breakfast cereals made no attempt whatsoever to be healthy, but instead concentrated all of their powers into deliciousness. Everything was corn, sugar, and marshmallows. The second milk touched our morning bowl of golden crispiness, everything melted down into a corn syrupy sludge. The Soggies that plagued Captain Crunch weren’t just an over-exaggerated cartoon goonie drawn up by some imaginative artist: every ’80s child had made their goopy acquaintance every morning.
And then we got fat.
Except for Christian Bale, obviously. He’s waiting to tell you all about new Ms Pac-Man marshmallows after the jump.
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Tags: breakfast, cereal, christian bale, commercial, nadia oxford, pac-man, retro, video, WTFriday
WTFriday: The Punch-Out Rap
There’s nothing like an early start to a Friday. The Wii remake of Punch-Out!! will be making its long-awaited debut (return?) next week, and I figured a fan rap might help ease you into the mood. Or scare you off entirely.
Personally, I am looking very forward to the game, rap or no rap. It just seems like a lot of familiar, goofy fun, and I’m always up for familiar, goofy fun. I spent an entire summer working on the original Punch-Out!!, though I never did reach Mike Tyson. I thought, “I guess I’m just not good enough,” but I realise now that I was just too scared to meet him. I’m doing okay considering how few members of the human race have winked at me and flexed their biceps, and I think I will endure without seeing Mike Tyson’s failure taunt.
Video after the jump.
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Tags: fan stuff, mike tyson's punch-out, nintendo, punch out, wii, WTFriday
WTFriday: Kid Tries to Change Name to “Sonic X”
Being a willing veteran of the pet industry, I’ve seen my share of animals with crazy-ass names. Demographics count for a lot: working in a well-to-do area of the city put me in direct contact with about twenty chihuahuas named Gucci and ten Yorkshire terriers named Prada. Moving to a child-heavy neighbourhood desensitised me to names like “Goku Super Saiyan 3.” (That poor Boston terrier…)
This funny old world can still surprise me, though. For example: a Norwegian kid put in a request to change his name to Sonic X. Not only that, six-year-old Christer sent his plea directly to the King of Norway.
I’ve been entertaining myself by imagining Harald V’s face when he got the request. Crown knocked askew in shock. Mouth open. Chewed bits of hasenfeffer dribbling down his crimson robes.
Or maybe Harald leaned down into Christer’s face and gave him The Business in the style of Roger Meyers Junior from The Simpsons: ”You don’t know what you want! That’s why you’re still a kid, ’cause you’re stupid!”
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Tags: fan stuff, nadia oxford, sega, sonic x, WTFriday
John Constantine, our superhero, was raised by birds and then attended Penn State University. He is currently working on a novel about a fictional city that exists only in his mind. John has an astonishingly extensive knowledge of Scientology. Ultimately he would like to learn how to effectively use his brain. He continues to keep Wu-Tang's secret to himself. 
Derrick Sanskrit is a self-professed geek in a variety of fields including typography, graphic design, comic books, music and cartoons. As a professional hipster graphic designer, his recent clients have included Nerve, Pitchfork and MoCCA, among others.
Amber Ahlborn - artist, writer, gamer and DigiPen survivor, she maintains a day job as a graphic artist. By night Amber moonlights as a professional Metroid Fanatic and keeps a metal suit in the closet just in case. Has lived in the state of Washington and insists that it really doesn't rain as much as everyone says it does.
Nadia Oxford is a housekeeping robot who was refurbished into a warrior when the world's need for justice was great. Now that the galaxy is at peace (give or take a conflict here or there), she works as a freelance writer for various sites and magazines.
Based in Toronto, Nadia prizes the certificate from the Ministry of Health declaring her tick and rabies-free.
Bob Mackey is a grad student, writer, and cyborg, who uses the powerful girl-repelling nanomachines mad science grafted onto his body to allocate time towards interests of the nerd persuasion. He believes that complaining about things on the Internet is akin to the fine art of wine tasting, but with more spitting into buckets.
Joe Keiser has a programming degree from Johns Hopkins University, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, and a fake toy guitar built in the hollowed-out shell of a real guitar. He writes about games and technology for a variety of outlets. One day he will stop doing this. The day after that, police will find his body under a collapsed pile of (formerly neatly alphabetized) collector's edition tchotchkes.
