The Top 5 Sexiest Male Characters (According to That Feeling in My Groin):

1. Elizabethan gentlemen, à la Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice
2. contemporary dancers (I've been watching a lot of So You Think You Can Dance lately)
3. Renaissance Faire tavern workers
4. Starfleet officers (especially when played by Zachary Quinto or Karl Urban)
5. cowboys, with deep, syrupy southern accents

All you cowboys out there can titillate my tastebuds as well as my groin by packing these custom leather beer holsters, sized to fit your measurements.

And once you've won over my taste buds, you have my heart.

[$125, Etsy]

[Via The Awesomer]