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Vulva: The Sweetest Scent of All (NSFW)

vulva

I know it may seem as if I'm a bit vulva-crazy lately, but I can't not share this with you. It's just too...good.

A couple months ago, ToA reader Bree alerted me to the most awesome/horrifying product ever: VULVA. I've since been attempting to acquire a sample, but production of their revised product has been delayed. And so, I can only tell you what I know.

vulva-original

[$30, Vulva]

VULVA Original is an erotic scent mixed to match the irresistible smell of a woman's privates. It's not meant to be worn as a perfume, but rather sprayed onto a man's wrist, so he can sniff it throughout the day, thereby fueling his own naughty fantasies.

I. want this. So. bad. Just so I can put it on my own wrist, stick it in men's faces, and ask them, "Like my perfume? What do you think it smells like?" And the website itself is well worth visiting, for two reasons:

  • the soft-core porn-like promotional video
  • the narrator's pronunciation of "vaginal"

Now, the fabulous Bree actually knows of a man who has ordered this (and btw, Bree is one of my new favorite people). Which leads me to wonder: Men, is there really a market for this? If I presented you with a bottle for Christmas, would you flip your shit? Would the scent of my vajayjay, lingering in the air throughout the day, get you so worked up that you had to have The Sexy Time all the time? Please do let me know. In the meantime, someone send me a bottle.

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13 Comments

Not sure there is a market for it outside of being a novelty gift. But for that purpose, it's fantastic. My favorite scent of all time was a celebrity scent from Alan Cumming called "Cumming."

ppp commented on Oct 23 09 at 11:22 pm

aaahahaha. God I love Alan Cumming.

Steph Auteri commented on Oct 24 09 at 1:24 am

hahah- the website is a trip- talk about product placement. And the pics of the man with the two models are more than a little creepy.
PS: My girlfriend says she's down with the concept, but she'd rather not have me smelling someone else...

hmmm commented on Oct 24 09 at 11:35 am

That's interesting. I wonder how one would make a personalized vulva perfume. And yes, the website is a wonderland of awesome.

Steph Auteri commented on Oct 24 09 at 2:25 pm

I totally want this product.

Not to be crude, but pussy is the greatest scent in the world. I might use it as an air freshener.

And, if a girl wore this as perfume I'd want to make out with her all night.

Bart commented on Oct 24 09 at 4:40 pm

The guy is a little too Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet.

A M commented on Oct 24 09 at 8:19 pm

The merchandising is rather special, and the gallery... LOL, how did those models keep a straight face?

However, having REAL vulva scent on my fingers seems infinitely preferable to this ersatz version, and does indeed keep me horny as hell all day.

gobsmacked commented on Oct 24 09 at 8:49 pm

Reminds me of those walks home in high school after leaving my girlfriends house. I'd be smelling my fingers the entire way. I can't guarantee I would buy the product, it seems a little odd but I would sure as hell like to try it.

Tedo commented on Oct 26 09 at 3:46 pm

So, there's the thing: who is it I am (or my lover is) smelling? I may be too fastidious about it all but I'd really need to know the ingredients. In this case, the more homologous (unnatural) the better. And even then. . .

EleusisD commented on Oct 26 09 at 11:16 pm

@Eleusis: I know what you mean. I'm curious, myself, how they managed to come up with an ingredients list for this scent.

Steph Auteri commented on Oct 27 09 at 12:51 pm

The thing is, there isn't just one scent. I've had girlfriends whose down-there scent I'd crave and others I was much more neutral about.

jimmy commented on Oct 28 09 at 9:01 am

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