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May 29th, 2009 at 6:00 pm

The Modern Materialist: New and Improved

Posted by Steph Auteri

shopping cart online The Modern Materialist: New and Improved

In lieu of our usual Week in Review post…

I’m excited to announce that, as of next week, The Modern Materialist will be reborn as Tools of Attraction.

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May 29th, 2009 at 5:36 pm

So Long, And Thanks for All The Fish

Posted by Alex Zalben

ode 20to 20news 20pic So Long, And Thanks for All The Fish

I was having a conversation the other day about how pervasive Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy has been in culture. Foremost, I think, is that most people know the answer to the question “What is the meaning of life?” is “42.”

The other is the immortal message uttered by the dolphins as they leave Earth in the first book in the series, right before the planet is destroyed: Continue reading »


May 29th, 2009 at 4:42 pm

Wear Your Seed On Your Sleeves

url1 Wear Your Seed On Your Sleeves

Being a manly man doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable–in fact, what better way to show off what a man you are than to wear the product of your manly seed on your sleeve?

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May 29th, 2009 at 4:30 pm

The Lost Art of Being Polite

polite umbrella The Lost Art of Being Polite

Though Mystery advises men to “neg” girls to build attraction (ie. make fun of them a little bit), I still think that being polite goes a long way–ain’t nothing wrong with being a gentleman!

And on those rainy days when everyone’s umbrellas are bumping in the air as people hustle bustle down the sidewalks, show the world how polite you are by clearing the air space with the Polite Umbrella.

polite umbrella 1 The Lost Art of Being Polite

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May 29th, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Candy Ass!

Posted by Alex Zalben

candy ass Candy Ass!

Why am I not surprised you can find a picture of an actual candy ass on the internet? In any case, if you’re a fan of being cheeky (pun intended), and cross stitch, you’ll love these kits: Continue reading »


May 29th, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Shirt Of The Day: Tell Off Your Boss [NSFWish]

Posted by Alex Zalben

how to get your boss off your back Shirt Of The Day: Tell Off Your Boss [NSFWish]

Tired of your boss telling you what to do all the time? No worries, friend, we’ve got a shirt for you to wear to work that will say what you never had the courage to say: Continue reading »


May 29th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

Tools of Seduction: Take a Chance

dice Tools of Seduction: Take a Chance

We’ve already introduced you to Connect Foreplay, but I think we’re all in agreement that there are classier ways to seduce your mate. Like, for example, this dice and lingerie set that makes foreplay a delicious game of chance:

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May 29th, 2009 at 2:39 pm

Tailored Suits at Thin Prices

thick as thieves one button suit Tailored Suits at Thin Prices

[$443, Thick As Thieves]

We all know that a well-fitted suit is a tool of attraction, but an ill-fitted suit could mean your demise as you drown in a a sea of excess fabric, held down by wide lapels, boxy shoulders, and long sleeves.

Of course, a custom-tailored suit would cost a good amount of moola. Thankfully, Thick As Thieves suits don’t cost much more than a suit you’d pick up at the mall:

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May 29th, 2009 at 1:32 pm

Winners: SketchFest NYC Tickets

Posted by Alex Zalben

sketchfest Winners: SketchFest NYC Tickets

If you’re in the New York City area, and are a fan of sketch comedy, you’re going to want to check out SketchFest NYC, June 11-13, which presents three days of the best sketch comedy in the world.

The Fest features people like Kids in the Hall’s Kevin McDonald, and Flight of the Choncords’ Kristen Schaal, and many more, and we have your chance to see the whole weekend, free.

And speaking of which, the two winners of a pair of passes each to the Fest are… Continue reading »


May 29th, 2009 at 12:52 pm

You Lookin’ at Me?

aviatormirror You Lookin at Me?

[$127, Made in Design]

Uh huh, you’re a fly dude. You’ve got your aviators on, you’re sporting your favorite jeans, and you’ve totally perfected your strut. It’s a perfect package of heartthrob. But what happens when you’re indoors? Invest in these aviator mirrors, and you’ll be hip indoors and out:

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About This Blog

Steph Auteri is a freelance writer and proofreader who has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press, Playgirl, and other bastions of fine writing. She maintains a professional site http://www.stephiswrite.com, and also blogs about freelancing over at Freelancedom. You can keep up on her day-to-day by visiting her Twitter page.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Diana Vilibert is a freelance writer, among other things. Born in Lithuania, she now lives in New Jersey, where she doesn't have to walk to work ten miles in the snow, barefoot, uphill both ways. Diana cannot afford most of the products she writes about because she buys too many pairs of heels to make up for her shoeless childhood. She's written for MarieClaire.com, Janemag.com, and CosmoGIRL!.

Shaun Seneviratne is a dude just like anyone else. Just your average guy that raps Bone Thugs-n-Harmony to strangers on the subway at 4 a.m., doesn't chew his food because he believes it's a waste of time, and sleeps next to a scale replica of the Ghostbusters headquarters. He can rest easy knowing Egon, Peter, Ray, and Winston have his back. He currently lives in northern New Jersey, plays bass in Rapid Cities, and recently started a tumblr.

Laureen Mahler is a writer and editor who lives in California, where the sun never sets and everyone rollerskates to work. She coedits Beeswax Magazine and spends the remainder of her time as a freelance writer and letterpresser. She truly believes that someday she will master the ultimate multitask of blogging while letterpressing, though that might mean that she'll need a second pair of arms.

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