How to Seduce a Word Nerd

You’ve had your eye on her/him for weeks. You know who I mean: that cute number who’s always buried behind a book at the corner cafe. Never fear, we’ve got your back with these step-by-step instructions on how to captivate a bookish beauty:

Step 1: Attraction

[$5, Tanya Madoff]

Catching the eye of a word nerd can be tricky business, especially since they’re often nose-deep in a book, or thinking about a book they just read, or wondering which book to read next. Sport a colorful “I Heart Jane Austen” or (even better) “More Darcy, Less Wickham” pin, and you’re sure to attract some much-wanted attention.

Step 2: Get Comfortable

[$45, Assouline]

Next, ensure your scholarly sweetheart is completely at ease. I’ve already introduced you guys to these candles that smell like old libraries, but let me reiterate that they’re a surefire way to put a word nerd in the mood. In addition, why not pad your book stats with this:

[$20, CB2]

There’s nothing a word nerd loves more than lounging amidst a stack of books. Channel books into pillow form, and before you know it, you’ll be all snuggles and syntax.

Step 3: Prove Your Worth

[$15, Amazon]

If one book can single-handedly facilitate a literary seduction, it’s The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson. Trust me. It’ll work.

Step 4: Seal the Deal

[$17, Fifties Drive-In]

This last and most important step is simpler than you might think. You’ve got to have a Scrabble board, and I don’t mean just any newfangled, ergonomic, and (let’s face it) crappy new board: you need a tried and true vintage version. Break out the board, clarify the house rules of Sexy Scrabble, and you’ll be well on your way.

Related: Intercourse for Word Nerds, A Fantasy Long Overdue

Tags: books, seduction, sexy, word nerd