Wear Your Seed On Your Sleeves

Being a manly man doesn’t mean you can’t be fashionable–in fact, what better way to show off what a man you are than to wear the product of your manly seed on your sleeve?

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Medical Ailment or Fashion Statement?

And you were worried about cellulite!

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Come Through in the Clutch

[$850, Kathleen Dustin]

It’s not often that you come across an accessory that pretty much guarantees attention, but these polymer clay bags from artist Kathleen Dustin do that very thing.

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Style On Wheels

[$28, DaWanda]

While I didn’t need Shaun to remind me that Vespas are way cool, it seems that the evidence is mounting in favor of this sleek scooter’s ability to attract members of the opposite sex. 

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A Knitted Affair

[€125, Colette]

Times when you might have to sport black-tie attire:

• at weddings
• when attending a fancy dress party
• while ballroom dancing
• in the course of imitating James Bond
• when striving to impress someone by ironically overdressing

Whatever the circumstances, this tuxedo-inspired, hand-knit bow tie will secure you a spot on the guest list and in the hearts of all who behold it.

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Robbing the Cradle

[$69, Banana Republic]

We’ve already discussed secret dating weapons and conversation pieces.

Why not make that concept work side by side with man’s eternal quest for the hot younger woman?

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Search By Location IRL

[$100-$300, Maya Brenner Designs]

When surfing personals sites, one can easily search by location, even going so far as to input zip code info and specify a mileage radius.

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Cuff It Up

[$49, Shapeways]

If dating success lies in the little things, then these customizable cuff links should definitely be on your to-buy list:

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PacMan Plush Hats

Got gaming on the brain? Make it known with this painfully-dorky-yet-adorable accessory–the Pac-Man plush hat. And look how, uh, great it looks on:

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Prepare for Your Date in 10 Easy Steps

Preparing for a date can be a daunting prospect. After all, one must:

1. shower, taking care to shave both legs and bikini line 
2. try on at least 10 different outfits
3. apply makeup
4. decide makeup looks trashy
5. wash off makeup
6. reapply makeup more tastefully
7. wrestle with unruly hair, attempting hair clips, headbands, and other instruments of hair torture
8. admire oneself in front of a full-length mirror, turning this way and that approximately 267 times
9. decide one looks awful
10. start over

The last thing you want to worry about is your handbag.

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