By now you’ve probably heard of Chidi Uzomah Jr, the 25-year old special forces sergeant who is in police custody after going to the E! studios with a knife to find the American Idol host and…I dunno, love/stab him to death?
All joking aside, that’s a pretty scary story. One drawback to being a super-celebrity is having super-crazy fans who think they know you personally because they’ve seen you on TV and in magazines a lot. On the other hand, it is kind of funny. Especially now that the military is taking responsibility for it.
That the US Army, with its notoriously rampant homophobia and rigid gender roles would produce a guy who was just that into Ryan Seacrest. Who, when you think about it, is the definition of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. What’s even weirder is that an Army spokesperson has already called to apologize to Seacrest, as if that institution was personally responsible for turning out Ryan Seacrest fanatics all over Afghanistan. Once again, not that funny, but that’s my point: if a man comes home with severe PTSD and kills his wife, the Army doesn’t go on record saying, “Our bad.” But if a guy comes home and stalks Ryan Seacrest, the military is shamed into making a public apology.
Bonus headline hilarity: Both TMZ and People have- give or take one word- the exact same headline for this story.
